I'm really sorry it took so long. Although i put on my post that the tales will never end but i guess i was foolish to put that in the first place(Haha! xD). I've been busy since i move to Melbourne 2 years back for education purpose. It was a really nice place with nice people (Can't be exactly happy with racism here but most of them are friendly).
Alright, back to the main point of the topic today. For starters, i'm not exactly sure if it was "once" but i'm just going to put there for the sake of grammar. I don't really notice until recently when i was dreamt of her in my dream. I've once heard that your dreams portrait your true desire, something you really want in your life. This post isn't really a way to try to get her back, i would prefer to think of it as a confession for something that i had did. I don't know if i really want to go back again with her, we tried it and it wasn't pleasing. I acted like a child before and after the relationship. I wasn't really proud of words i said and things i done. Probably the reason why my mind wants to torture me with past memories (Karma huh?). I tried to sabotage her relationship with another male just so i can restore our relationship. Apparently it didn't work which is quite comforting but till this day, i regret what i said. I was a jerk, i broke up with her just to satisfy myself and my selfish reason. I insulted her indirectly. Maybe she had forgive me or maybe forget about me but i'll never forgive myself.
In this two years, my mind, unconsciously wanted to erase every moment that i had spent with her. I started to forgot what i had said to her, what i happen between me and her, what her voice was like. I guess it is pretty normal since i don't really want to remember her in the first place. Many people ask why can't you just be friend with her? Well, because i don't want to. Maybe it is just me but i find it inappropriate to befriend someone you once loved. I'm just glad that she has found herself a keeper
I had trouble having REM sleep or in layman's term, deep sleep, since i had that dream. i just feel like if i wrote it out i might feel better about it. For whether is she reading this or not, i just wanted to say i'm sorry. For the reason above and for stalking you once in a while in facebook(I'm really sorry!! ><). I wish you had a lovely and happy relationship with your current suitor.
Live long and prosper!
Sincerely,
Me
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